Updated: Jun 14
Energetic Perspective on Discerning Love
We all dream or hope to find our True Love, ‘Soul Mate’ or Twin Soul. But how many times had we already believed, that we had met the ‘one True Love’ or ‘perfect’ relationship only to find ourselves in a state of utter disillusionment, heartbroken or disbelief?
Why is it so difficult for us to navigate the jungle of our own and other people’s feelings?
The answer is Self-Deception. We want a partner to mirror back to us what we fall in love with. We want to find in the other what we cannot find in ourselves. And, most of all, we want this blissful love that brings out the best in us, to last forever! So, let’s face it: Love can be based on many other things than True Love, whether we are aware of it or not. To know if it’s true love what we or the other is feeling, takes experience, patience, and the willingness to be truthful with ourselves. We need to be willing to be vulnerable, to trust and have good boundaries. Without clear feeling, sensing, and thinking it becomes difficult to express ourselves freely. And lastly, we need to make sure that the other wants the same..
We all know that empathy is key in love matters. But are we truly paying conscious and loving attention to ourselves? We get so distracted by wanting to impress the other, that it can become challenging to stay conscious. How many times did you have initial doubts, but chose to brush over them, because you were too busy trying to meet your partners' expectations? There is no judgment in what we find to be our hopes and dreams, or why we choose to be in a relationship with another! But wouldn’t it be great if we had more clarity about our true motivation, rather than obsessing about whether our partner truly loves us or not?
However, all too often, and especially In times of rapid collective transformation, unresolved aspects in our inner and outer relationships often pop up in form of toxic relationship patterns: power games, push-push, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, control behaviors, etc. If we are not willing to go deeper, many of our long-term problems tend to resurface if they stay unresolved.
In global or personal crisis times, this may come forward as an increased need for connection and true intimacy. At the same time, we can also feel that the remainders of our unresolved fear, judgment, anger, survival, lust, self-centeredness, vanity, narcissism, etc. in past relationships are interfering with our ability to truly love with an open heart.
How can we know if it’s True Love if we have deceived ourselves so many times already?
How can we learn to trust our own judgment again?
Energy Training can help with this. If we shift our focus away from the emotional aspects and unprocessed memories of the past and learn to focus on our energy in the present moment, valuable signals can be perceived. These ‘signals’, be they physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, or energetic in nature, can help us to form a more accurate roadmap to understanding ourselves. Clear sensing, feeling, and thinking can be trained. By learning to discern our inner responses and focusing on our true feeling from within, many of our confusions can be circumvented. We can learn to cut through our ruminating and inner conflicts by training our innermost perceiving of ourselves.
This new understanding of our inner truth needs to be chosen and originate in us. We cannot be told how certain things are supposed to feel! That would be an oxymoron! Only the development of inner discernment can help us to understand our own feelings. The more actively we engage in loving self-attention and growth, we will recognize how little we used to be able to feel our true needs and wants, for example. We were simply too busy trying to figure out how our ‘object’ of love feels, that we became unable to feel ourselves.
Energy work, therefore, offers a vital tool for better understanding the true nature of our relationships. It can help us to transform from stereotypical power/control patterns, co-dependency, or fantasy bonds into an expression of true and unconditional love and lovingness. Seen from an energetic point of view, ‘Love’ is an energetic state. vibratory resonance that can come in a lower or higher expression, depending on a person’s personal needs and wants virtues, morals, and alignment. So, without knowing what we feel, what we need, and what we want, we will never know if it’s love what we are feeling!
If we want to know if it’s ‘true’ love, we need to learn how to use our inner insight to recontextualize our fears, so that we can begin to consciously choose to make yourselves the object of your love.
----------------------------------- transCODES offers a variety of energy coaching and training modalities. If you are interested in learning more about energy sessions click here.