Many of us experience the pressing feeling of not ‘belonging’ into our families or relationships. In our attempt to break free or rebel against family structures we often struggle with lifelong family and relationship issues, which are very often interconnected. Depending on our karmic set-up, family constellation and childhood experiences these inner and outer conflicts can have a very important purpose, namely to free ourselves from karmic binds and to create optimal circumstances for healing our deeper aspects – if we can recognize their connection!
Typically, we engage in deeper healing processes unconsciously through repeat: Without being aware of it we ‘re-create’ the same/similar circumstances of our childhood, so that outer condition force us to change our inner conditions. One of the most commonly recreated patterns is taking on a karmic family role: Mother, Father or Child.
As we begin to understand that our preprogrammed idea of a perfect relationship is nothing but a incessantly promoted idealization prepping us for a multi-Billion-Dollar Wedding industry. The truth behind romanticized songs and movies is to play on our unresolved shadow cravings and inner child attachments issues. From an energetic point of view, persistent or repetitive relationship issues play directly into our unseen shadow and false self patterns.
In classical couple counseling it is not commonly seen how unconscious Shadow aspects can play a major role in repetitive relationship issues; and not just in our romantic relationships! However, deeper energy work can open up the reason why this is so difficult for us to see. Whether we are aware of it or not Shadow Traits can show in emotional manipulation, sexual projection, victimhood, specialness, superiority, disdain and co-dependencies. If we want to know how to transcend our persistent relationship patterns we need to get to the deeper aspects of our unseen energetic interaction and learn how they express in our relationships.
Every relationship provides a unique opportunity for spiritual, emotional and mental growth and even healing. One of the main problems in relationships is that we tend to get fixated on the object of love. We are conditioned to believe that we need another person (or being) to be in love or to feel the emotion of love. From an energetic viewpoint this is not the case. Love is a resonance - a subjective energetic state that exists within us regardless of an object. It is an expansive, all-encompassing, energetic resonance within us that is unconditional and trusting.
The English language offers two meanings for 'True Love'; one describes the person or obejct of our love and the other describes the emotions we project onto someone and vice versa. Both meanings primarily reflect on an emotion directed or projected by somebody else. However, when searching for the deeper meaning of True Love, we realize that it is a feeling inside us, which does not necessarily require an object. So, let me ask you then: "Is it me who creates love or is the object of my love? And if it's me, does this make me the subject of my love?"
Could it be that our understanding of Love and True Love needing an object is the problem for all our difficulties dealing with love matters in our lives?
We’ve all heard about Yin-Yang and how this inner balance of masculine and feminine energies is important; but do we really understand why? Why is the balancing of these inner energies so important? What are some of the consequences if they are out of balance? How does our personal experiences of Masculinity and Femininity influence our life and our relationships? While actively engaging in our inner self-healing these and other questions often crystallize as core aspects in our self-healing journey.
Without going deeper into the metaphysical or mystical meaning of these pure forms of Divine energy and how they came to be separated as two different genders, try to understand your energy field as the result of a fusion of the Divine Feminine and Masculine Spirit – much like of mother and father energies, only on a deeper level of energy. To explore your inner relationship with the Divine Masculine and Feminine and their state of balance within you, you typically need to look at how we originally perceived these Divine energies through your parents/caretakers representing those energies for you in your early stages.
Many energetic blocks and hidden aspects lead back to a lack or imbalance of our source of energy. While most of us assume that our primary source lies in masculinity for males and femininity for females, energy work teaches us that primary source is not so much in the singularity of our gender but the unity and balance of both: the Divine Masculine and Feminine within.
In recent years the amount of discussions about Twin Souls and Twin Flames on the internet has skyrocketed. Since 2009, when I started working with energetic merging modalities and TwinSoul energies in this subject seems to have advanced to one of the most popular new-age/spiritual/ascension subjects. Frankly, to honor the sacredness and sensitivity of this subject it would be best to keep information about energetic merging silent, but because of the growing number of people experiencing confusing interpersonal energetic sensations and the flood of misinformation about the Twin Soul phenomenon, I would like to offer my observations and insights working with Twin Soul couples and energies. At the same time I would like to remind you to absorb this information with full functioning inner discernment - keep what resonates with you and toss the rest.
The objective of this article is not to add more romance and sentimentality to the already questionable info regarding the Twin Flame subject, but to inform those of you who are questioning or doubting their inner perceptions or those who would like to learn more about relationships. (For balance and authenticity purposes I also shared a critical view on working with Twin Soul energies.)
Everything that is being said here about a Twin Soul relationship could also apply to any happy and longlasting partnership or relationships between energetically sensitive people who are striving for higher vibratory unions. In the end it doesn't matter how you call it. The best way to go about our relationships is to so love with an open heart, to know what your true needs and desires are and to conitnue learning how to best communcate your true feelings and needs.
Keyword: Karmic Relationships
In my view Karmic aspects are the most commonly overlooked aspects in self-healing and recovery from disease, addiction, trauma or crises. If Karma can be seen as any energetic imbalance that seeks to balance itself out, then it can become more clear that the purpose of Karma is to facilitate and support the healing of any unhealed part in our energy field, regardless of its origin. There is no 'good' or 'bad' Karma - Karma is nothing but the energetic consequence of our inner thoughts and outer actions. In other words, if we begin to understand our circumstances as an integral part of our healing and recovery process, forgiveness, compassion and grieving feel more true to us than blaming, victimizing and wanting revenge.
This doesn’t mean that we have to passively swallow wrongdoings or accept everything as ‘karma’. This would be far off from what this inner knowing wants to provide for us. It can enable us to see the big picture – to move from the experiencer into the observer position and strengthens the connection with our inner Divine Consciousness. Karma work is a major step out of the hamster-wheel of repeating negative experiences and the ticket to re-instating our soul’s integrity.
Perhaps, you find yourself at a point of your journey where you feel compelled to investigate the truth about the quality of you Love and how much Self-Love you really feel within you. As you probably already know, whether of not you are in a romantic relationship is not a measuring tool for your inner love. Your inner connection is. However, intensified by current collective energies many of us are dealing with a frequent feeling of loneliness and difficulties to connect within.
Loving and trusting somebody requires us to be able to love ourselves first. If we don’t feel good enough or undeserving of love we can’t trust in ourselves; and thus we can't trust others. Feeling unloved can mean that we are not quite willing yet to trust in our Self-Love yet, which is often linked to perceiving ourselves as flawed or not meeting our own or projected expectations. We are simply not in a loving relationship with ourselves yet.
From this perspective it’s understandable that we find it challenging to invite True Love into our lives and perhaps even dismiss or give up on it altogether. To overcome conditionality in Love we need to be willing to love others as ourselves. The key to this is in reflecting on the conditions and limitations of how we perceive love. Follow me here and let's reflect on how to overcome the Conditions of Love:
These past 2 weeks brought up a lot of inner and outer TURMOIL - you don't need me to tell you this: Nothing seems to be working anymore; old emotions and fears are kicking and screaming; old patterns are back and all our good intentions went out the window - just for us to see the futility of our rigid old ways.
Many of us experienced some kind of loss or a big LETTING GO these past weeks. It's like as if an old cycle wants to come to an end. And so, here we are - our triggers were pushed and once more we feel like running in cycles.
While this letting go pain activated our raw LIFE FORCE to spike up again, it also brought some of our SHADOW ASPECTS back to life. This required and continues to require us to be the OBSERVER and CONTEXTUALIZE our inner energetic reactions, rather than judging them. This was and still is tough for many … and even if we were able to see exactly what was going on, it could still trigger LONLINESS and SELF-DOUBT.