Why Our Inner Child Needs Our Attention & How We Can Help It Heal
By jona bryndis, Apr 4 2018 07:04PM
We all know that there is probably is no other part of us that can be triggered as fast and intense as our Inner Child. It can block us, disconnect us, scare us, drive us into instant rage or activate our strongest defenses within a matter of split seconds!
Inner Child is often not necessarily what we think it is. Sure, for many of us our core wounds and traumas are located in our childhood, but as we take a closer look it’s not so much what happened to us that made our story what it is today, but how we remember handling our personal challenges and circumstances.
While a wounded and some times even rogue inner child can make us freeze, lash out or wanting to hide or run away, it can also inspire us! If we can overcome our initial resistance, the feeling of helplessness, powerlessness or having been unfairly treated or judged we can truly experience a great deal of healing through rejoicing with that locked up part of us. It can allow us playfully explore our inner worlds, to rediscover the wonderment and curiosity of discovering the beauty in all our experiences, and help to embrace our innocence, hand in hand, with who we have become on our life’s journey.
Often, facing our Inner Child reminds us on our karmic disposition, our family or ethnic inheritance and perhaps even some of the debt we have been carrying around for a long time. Conscious or not, the pain of this burden can have a very dominating power over us!
However, our Inner Child is not some underdeveloped or immature part of us that blocks us from moving forward!It is the part of us that carries the keys to unlocking our true potential and creativity!
Regardless of her or his experiences in the past, if we can learn how to hold its hand, reconnect and reconcile within, it can also help us to build a bridge between the timelessness of our True Self and the mortality of our ego self.
Reconciling with this part of us means to fill in the gaps between what we like and dislike about ourselves, what we perceive as flaws and how we handle our shortcomings. Through connecting and communicating with our inner child we can learn what our true needs are and which of our boundaries need to be redefined for us to feel safe. We can learn about our defenses, our coping strategies and shadow traits – we can practice unconditional love and learn how to forgive ourselves and others – but most importantly, a healing inner child can give us back the feeling that we truly belong here in this world, that there can be a hidden treasure in all our suffering and separation! If understood in this manner, it can allow us to connect with who we truly are and who we are meant to become!
Compared to all other inner healing modalities, facing the Inner Child is probably one of the most challenging – but also most transformative processes. Like all great healing processes it can feel like a bitter medicine at first; bring out hidden parts of us and remind us of our vulnerability. Therefore, it is particularly important to understand that calling on our inner child within the context of this remote energy session is not about psychological, behavioral, or mental healing – it is about healing our hearts and mending what was broken, lost or taken away!
If you feel prompted to reconcile with your Inner Child give yourself time! Allow this part of you back into union with your conscious self and try to find a place in your life for it!
Learn to acknowledge its existence, accept its sensitivities and empower it through your heartfelt love and compassion. See it walking out of your inner darkness with a raised head, with the certainty that you will always be there for him/her and that all that is past is now behind it.
The deeper energetic and spiritual aspect of Inner Child Integration comes forward when we begin to understand the retro-causal nature of energy work. The level on which we operate with such modality is not bound to time and space! Creating a space within our hearts that allows our wounded inner self to step out of the darkness of inner judgment and separation is way more powerful than we can comprehend at the beginning of this work!
We cannot change the factual aspect of our past, but we can change the way it affects us in the here and now; our day-to-day choices and actions, and with it, our ability to change our present, future and thus our karma! This is the true power of integrating our inner child – even if this is difficult to see at first!
Often Inner Child Work brings out the very personal aspects of what we cannot love about ourselves yet. For many of us our Inner Child is directly linked to victim energies and sabotage cycles that prevent us from developing a happy relationship with who we are and how we see our world.
In an older article “The Victimizer In Us” I wrote:
“Success and happiness are high vibratory resonances that can only be attracted into our lives if we resonate on the same level or above. If we feel victimized, helpless and passive; or if we feel envious, hateful and jealous towards other people’s successes, our energy more likely resonates with further hardship and therefore continues to attract further disappointments.
The key to unlocking these unconscious sabotage mechanisms is to investigate what our ego gets out of staying in them. This may seem contradictory at first “who likes being a victim?”, but deep down we all get a payoff out of what we align to, otherwise there would be no point to it – not even for our ego. The most common pitfall in regards to being successful in life is the need to compensate for perceived inner lack, disconnection or unhealed hidden aspects of our personality.
Seeking success for the sake of compensating for unresolved inner aspects (or other ego purposes) lowers our vibratory rate and can pull us into the negativity of sabotage cycles. Therefore a successful and long-term manifestation of our goals, such as health, finances, relationships or spirituality, not only implies proper goal setting but also requires us to double-check on our motivation. While motivation and intention can play a key role in our manifestation process, many of our inner sabotage cycles are not aware to us. So, if we want to break negative cycles and start fresh, we need to look at some of our repetitive patterns.
One example for how unhealed inner aspects can be a cause overall pessimism and struggles of being successful in life (according to our own definition) is the unconscious Victimizer Cycle.
If we project apathy, disgain, blame and guilt connected with your inner victim, we will attract other victims and more victimhood into your life. The same of course applies for projecting your anger, revenge and hate as perpetrator - we will attract other perpetrators, more injustice and more hate. Both sabotage mechanisms serve the purpose of coping for originally unhealed inner aspects, for example abuse, trauma, neglect, abandonment or simply an inner emptiness due to a lack of connection/spirituality. However, the payoff for the victim and the perpetrator is identical: Not having to take Responsibility and blaming others.
The only difference between both mechanisms is that the perpetrator seeks open pay-back for injustice and acts out his/her negative feelings directed at a person, institution or belief outside of her/himself, while the victim archetype typically internalizes negativity. Ultimately the victim finds its release through converted disdain or secret revenge and becomes a victimizer. The Victimizer in us describes the hidden perpetrator in victims and the victim in perpetrators.
This can sometimes be difficult to see, but deep down Victim and Perpetrator are nothing but the flip-sides of the same coin. So, in a way we are all both; depending on which polarity our ego prefers to identify with, we either see ourselves as victim or perpetrator - deserved or undeserved.
The purpose self-healing and ultimately integration of unresolved victimhood or impulsive perpetration of negativity is to become able to identify the victimizer in us and to heal the underlying hidden aspect through reconnecting with it.”
Click here to read the whole article.
Inner Child & Relationships
As our volatile energy as children was violated, we needed to develop copying strategies. Many of these helped us to get through whatever the challenge or trauma was, but from today’s perspective most of these defense mechanisms are no longer needed. As adults we have many other resources to deal with or prevent pain.
However, if we got stuck in those early defense structures, we are mostly likely still applying them today. Therefore, it can take a little patience and the ability to breathe through some of rising vulnerability when we begin to open up for feeling the original wound underneath our fear or pain.
Here some examples for typical inner behaviors linked to our Inner Child:
- Dissociation (cutting ourselves off from our feelings)
- -> emotional numbness, difficulty to trust, loneliness
- Absorption (projecting our fears/pains onto others)
- -> tendency to absorb other people’s pain or negativity, hostile and blaming attitude towards others
- Victimhood (sabotaging self-expression)
- -> blaming, lack of self-responsibility, projection and absorption
- Codependent behaviors (hidden control mechanism)
- -> tendency to externalize our power; aptitude for addictions
- Unprocessed or misunderstood sexual energies (repression of creativity and vitality)
- -> preventing true intimacy and connection with others
Often this happens without our conscious awareness that this is where some of our behaviors or blocks come from.
Energy Work is a fantastic tool for Inner Child Integration and Trauma Healing, as it allows us to bypass some of our debilitating hard-wires without retraumatizing ourselves.
If you feel the need to pay attention to your Inner Child before it can dominate your relationships with others or run your emotional processing, check out our popular Inner Child Integration remote energy healing session coming up this Friday.
This 1 hour Remote Energy transMISSION (as private or group session) is designed to initiate self-healing and reintegration of Inner Child wounds. This transMISSION is guided (Mp3 Energy Process is included).
This power of this modality lies in its combination of the guiding voices and coded visualization techniques. It initiates spontaneous heart-alignment and thus allows for our Inner Child to come forward. The created space in our heart-center resembles and leads to our Sacred Heart-Space, but is often blocked by Inner Child aspects.
With Jeff Casper & Jona Bryndis
In Group or Individual sessions, the field created through this transCODE initiates:
- Dissolution of remaining disharmonic lower-self aspects
- Alignment to inner Divinity (Christ-Light/Source/God/Celestial)
- Accepting of inner child wounds
- Re-connecting with inner child in different developmental stages
- Reconciliation with father & mother energies
Click here for sign-up info. The cost for this energy session is $100 in group and $200 in a private session including an energy coaching session afterwards.
Hope to see you soon.