Understanding Self-Healing of Addiction & Co-Dependency
By jona bryndis, Oct 31 2017 07:00AM
In recent years, we have observed an alarming connection between addiction and energetic sensitivity, highly sensitive persons and empaths. The amount of addictive or co-addictive patterns amongst us is extremely high, and often also very challenging to recover, as the underlying need to connect and heal is so strong, that it often expresses in the less obvious form of co-dependency. Co-dependency may not exactly show as obvious addiction, because it hides more in what we don’t do, such enabling, and the inability to feel and maintain healthy boundaries.
For centuries we have been conditioned to believe that addictive behaviors are weak, unacceptable and sinful. We regard our coping behaviors as 'temptation of the flesh', which condemned addiction as irreconcilable shadow part of our human existence. Most of us judge addiction in others, but what about our hidden addictions, that makes us look ‘good’ in other people’s eyes? What about our obsessive self-berating, perfectionism, mental looping, victimhood, spiritual specialness, power-tripping or emotional manipulation? Have you ever considered these behaviors as addictive?
In energy work we can clearly identify a resemblance between substance abuse, behavioral addictions, and trauma coping. In fact, from an energetic point of view they are close to identical. It is why we teach our self healing community here at transCODES to work with recovery from a standpoint of ego addiction defining dependencies as energetic ‘juice’ that blocks our ability to be real.
What if the archaic approach and the belief that we are 'sinful and weak' is responsible for the agony in dealing addictions in the first place? What if we could learn to accept our addictive tendencies as part of our soul’s survival that is not at all 'sinful' but desperate to evolve into a deeper level of inner and outer connection? What if Freud's theory of the 'id' as lower expression of our ego self is actually linked to the desire to connect with our spiritual nature?
ADDICTION & SPIRITUALITY IN THE PAST
In our past, sin, control, punishment and love were closely tied together. We were taught that we have to be compliant in order to deserve love - in many religions it is even suggested that we are unworthy of love unless we behave or be in a certain way. It is no surprise that church itself, and our entire religious programming over millennia has provided the breeding ground for inner fragmentation, shadow and addiction. The resulting pressure of needing to be ‘somebody’ in order to belong or to be loved has crushed our sense for true selves and thus turned us against ourselves. It has not only promoted addictions, but also contributed to the stigma of being human altogether. Many of us empaths and highly sensitives are often questioning their spiritual worthiness and therefore resent the fact that we are human altogether.
For as long as we can remember we have been judged for falling for addictions as a matter of lesser social functioning, over-sensitivity, lack of willpower, or self-control. From today’s perspective of modern spirituality this outdated approach is not only disregarding the deep pain underneath our often desperate coping mechanisms, it has also vilified our affinity to addictive patterns, and drove us even deeper into the shadows of separation, pretense and False Self. By programming us with social incompatibility and failure we have become controllable through our unconscious guilt and shame, and basically unable to self heal this separated part in us.
This has lead to an entire subculture of hidden expressions of addiction in form of codependency, particularly prevalent in the group of empaths and healing professionals. While many modern spiritual and new age teachings promote false self-sacrifice as required means to transcending ego, the deeper meaning and healing through adding spirituality to our lives became transfigured. Wanting to be more ‘spiritual’ has contaminated our sincere desire to connect spiritually into the misconception that we have to be loving and embracing towards everybody and everything. Hence, the so misunderstood notion that we have to be sympathetic at all times does nothing but drive us further into our ego addictions and codependent patterns. It has lead to an entire generation of empath-narcissist matchups with particularly toxic and dysfunctional relationships construed as spiritually specialness.
(picture from jp sears: http://awakenwithjp.com)
HIDDEN ADDICTIONS, SPIRITUAL DEFICIENCY & FAKE SPIRITUALITY
To this day, when dealing with addiction and recovery there are no pharmacological, psychological or medical treatments worth mentioning. The only therapies showing long term success are 12-step based self healing groups, as full energetic recovery cannot just be measured through the abstinence from addictive substances or activities! And, as a result of facing mass epidemic proportions modern psychology is now even moving to the approach of ‘moderation’ and managing addictions with meds rather than healing them, which can barely offer a solution!
Granted, the immanent damage and self-destruction of addictive and co-addictive patterns is undeniable, which is why damage control is sometimes the only first-aid option, but frankly, how could another dependency to treat dependency be called ‘healing’? As long as we disregard the underlying pain of inner separation our coping that ‘gets us through’ to the next relief or high, remains nothing but a hidden form ego addiction.
In my view as energy coach the often unconscious spiritual link between sin, damnation, deserving love and happiness are responsible for this dilemma. More often than not we are dealing with karmic family aspects, that have influenced our self-perception as not lovable or not belonging. In addition, today’s society is masking addiction as socially acceptable (see social media), which has lead to a collective eco-system that promotes isolation and fakeness, only to further cement our inner separation pain. It is why we see so many deeply disturbing self-destructive deeds of individuals and entire collective groups. Our fake spirituality and phoniness has driven us deeper into even more destructive levels of global and individual shadow.
The reason why we perceive our society as ‘sick’ or dark, is because we all have been coaxed into twisted forms of hidden addictions. Only those of us who hit rock bottom with their addiction get attention, at which time it’s often too late to prevent destruction. In my experience this is the real reason why we need change our attitude towards addiction and begin to include ego per se as the root of our spiritual deficiency.
NEW APPROACH THROUGH SPIRITUAL SELF-HEALING
In energy work we can learn that addictions are not just a matter of temptation or unfulfilled desires. Yes, their energetic signature is mainly anchored in our 1st (Belonging), 2nd (Passion) and 3rd Chakra (Will-Power) and therefore ties them to our repressed/hidden emotions and desires, as well as identity issues. However, if we look at the three main reasons why people engage in addictive behaviors (stimulation, numbing, connecting) we will find, that it is the overactive and compensatory nature of our ego will-power and control in our 3rd Chakras that causes addiction. It separates us from true connection through our 4th Chakra (Ability to Engage in Heart Based Relationships) and keeps us in our pain/fear/guilt/anger/control/judgment cycles.
The energetic solution comes through truly connecting within; feeling our feelings and becoming accountable for ourselves, the very thing we are not facing when engaging in addictive and co-addictive behaviors. We understand that our lower vibratory energetic states trigger the need to cope, and therefore don’t regard coping as failing, but merely a lack of inner heart connection.
This deficiency in connection can be healed through learning how to shift our energy into higher vibratory states. It happens through relearning how to breathe and perceive through our heart and thus internalize our spiritual power. We no longer need external things to feel alive and gain the willingness to truly listen inwardly. Instead of seeking connection outside ourselves we can experience what it feels like to be connected, and hat we have the power to connect within our heart in us at all times - even if our physical, emotional or mental state is low in energy.
In this way, mindfulness, mediation and energy training techniques help us to work our own energy in a very practical way, as we can learn to feel these different states with more neutrality and self-love. Through getting in touch with who we truly are we are beginning to feel purpose and meaning our lives, which can allow us to easily let go of the habit to externalize our needs to others.
With this self-healing approach we become not only less prone to be attracted to self-destructive behaviors, but begin to become able to connect with ourselves on a new level truth that no longer needs numbing, fake connection or insatiable stimulation.
Adding truth based spirituality is often so transformative, that we begin to re-cover who we truly are - a True Self on our journey of discovering our divine nature within - so that ‘recovery’ takes on a whole different meaning!
If you are interested to read more about how meditating and energy work can aid you in recovery click here.
Thank you for your time.
Energy Healer & Founder of transCODES