Understanding & Breaking Through Hard-Wired Ego Coping Patterns
By jona bryndis, Mar 16 2017 09:10PM
Energy Work can teach us that every sensation, emotion, feeling, thought and behavior is based on our vibrational state at a certain moment. Some of these states are temporary and others are default states - states which we tend to bounce back to when under threat or dealing with a challenge. The way we handle a situation – to just get through the day or past an immediate problem - without deeper reflection is typically showing our coping mechanism. Unless we are willing to explore our deeper energetic hard-wiring Coping Patterns can make it almost impossible to get past our usual ways, even if we already know that they are ‘unhealthy’ for us.
In a very practical way our coping patterns do not only determine, but also predict the way we approach and react to outer and inner stimuli, regardless of our better knowing. Subjectively we think we depend on them, which is why we rarely investigate them. Unless our addictions becomes openly destructive for us, most of us are not aware how our ego coping is often turning against our higher goals, and how they can block our energy, and thus prevent us making important changes in our lives.
We all have coping mechanisms – it’s not hard to see the obvious ones, such as addictive behaviors, but then there are our unconscious coping mechanisms, like avoiding, numbing, distracting, withdrawing, attacking, judging and criticizing, that can dominate can severely limit how we react or approach our daily aspects of life.
The energetic view can show us the vibrational link between how we feel, how we perceive the situation and what our ‘next best’ solution will most likely be. Therefore, the process of making decisions is way more complex than just the thoughts or emotions we have at a given moment. There are hard-wired patterns at play – or programs as we call them – that link into our physical sensations and bind us to our ego survival.
Responsible for this Method of Operation (MO) is our ego. It provides us with the ability to adapt and thus represents one of our great survival skills as human species. However, because our ego patterns based on emergency guidelines only, they can only encompass the most primitive functions of our problem solving skills, which are often not appropriate for a long-term solution.
A good example for these patterns is resorting to drinking alcohol to calm ourselves down, or coffee to get us through the next hour. They lead to an instantaneous aversion of the looming crisis but result into a later crash, perpetuating a cycle that prevents us from accessing our higher abilities to resolve problems effectively.
Most Coping Mechanisms derive from our ‘archaic’ way of dealing with threats, which are linked to autonomous nervous system and reactionary behaviors. The majority of our personal hard-wiring forms in our early childhood and determines our most primal trigger-response mechanisms - our reactive patterns - which are mainly based on either fight-flight or freeze.
Whichever method of coping worked the best for us when we were young typically continues to be applied. This is one of the main problems with our coping patterns - we basically apply something that may have worked well when we were 3 years old, when our main concern was to get attention, but the very same behavior is now not conducive or straight out damaging for our goals. In other words, if our coping patterns are left unchecked, we are often engaging in unconscious sabotage and even dysfunctional behaviors that we are not even aware of.
The reason why it's so difficult to break out of these vicious cycles and why it's so hard for us to find a way past our coping patterns is because of the way we perceive the problem and ourselves in it. While we are stuck in a certain vibrational state it is impossible to change our view of the problem, and so we get stuck in places where we cannot see other solutions – and often not even able to solve our most basic problems in a more constructive or effective way.
When we are caught in our ego cycles – we don't know what to change – and worse, don’t see the need for change.
Until we consciously challenge our ego's addictions and its secret payoff and admit to ourselves that we may have erroronuos perceptions - about ourselves, the problem or others - it is practically impossible to change the outcome.
The most common mistake that leads to perpetuating and even justifying our coping patterns is our ego tendency to latch on to a particular problem or person as the culprit or cause for our problem. In energy work we call this Attachment, which can be broken down as Being Stuck In A Particular Vibrational State.
However, in order to see the larger perspective and identify patterns - and ultimately come up with better solutions and behaviors the opposite is needed - we need to zoom out as opposed to zoom in. And so, because we can’t see this we often miss our target, get stuck in situations that are not beneficial for us and keep choosing the same MO leading to the same repetitive outcome.
If you want to know what your primary coping pattern is, watch your inner most hard-wired reactions and perceptions.
Here a list of most common primary ego coping patterns (see if you can find them in the chart above):
- brushing things off as inferior; elevating yourself above a person/problem or dismissing a critical situation as not worth engaging in
- dissociating or cutting ourselves off from a feeling, problem or person
- excessively criticizing yourself
- blaming others or circumstances
- trying to immediately control or 'fix' the situation or another person
- attacking the problem or the person; threatening or critiquing others
- defending, convincing or justifying
- withdrawing, denying, avoiding or hiding from a problem
- distracting, venting, projecting
- worrying, looping or feeling victimized
- wallowing in pain or self-pity
- retreating, isolating and feeling depressed
- beating yourself up, feeling worthless or defeated
Because the way we perceive ourselves and others is a tricky thing it is almost impossible to identify our patterns. We believe that our emotional, physical or mental states are caused by something outside of us – but the energetic truth is that the way we feel or makes decisions is based on our hidden coping mechanisms. We are conditioned to believe what we see, which as many of you readers know by now, isn't necessarily truth.
The ability to discern truth is a much higher human function. It resides in our in heart consciousness and not our ego. If we want to break through some of these hard-wired patterns the solution is not more analyzing or processing, but feeling. In order to heal we need to feel – but this is something most of us have forgotten to do.
We don’t live in our hearts – in fact, most humans don’t even live in their bodies!
So, if you want to reclaim your higher ability to discern truth and break through some of your most persistent barriers, spend more time feeling your feelings. Allow yourself to get in touch with yourself and your higher functions. Forget about ‘Why?’ – ask ‘How?’
We all are capable of vibrating in a higher state – Everything just Energy! Energy can transform, thus Everything Can Heal!
Thank you for your time.
If you need guidance on how to discern and change your inner ego hard-wires step-by-step check out our 24 STEP – The Art of Transcending Our Ego & It’s Addictions program or consider energy coaching.
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