Intimacy – The Art of Truly Connecting
By jona bryndis, Oct 9 2015 10:32PM
Intimacy is simply being able to be true to your feelings regardless of the situation – to stay open and willing to share concerns and talk about fears without defense or attack.
Being intimate means being willing to choose to stay connected over shutting down even if it's difficult.
Nothing allows us to grow more than intimate connections - with ourselves or others. Intimately connecting deep within strengthens our own sense of self and thus takes away the fear of being vulnerable. The art of Truly Connecting shows in our willingness to be vulnerable while being open. No matter what our mind is telling us, allowing intimacy helps us to honestly see ourselves through the eyes of another. It gives us the opportunity to grow and mature, and for our deepest fears to be healed.
True intimacy is something that we can share with anyone and not just our romantic partner. Being intimate does not imply physical intimacy, but it can include it. To be intimate is to be connected with who you are - past your defenses and without hiding. In intimate connection with ourselves as well as with everything around us, life can be fully experienced. We are no longer limiting our perception of a situation, our relationship with people, or anything. We simply are…
We all crave intimacy on some level – it is all our deepest desire apart from survival. Why is it that the one desire that connects us all also separates us the most?
Realistically, being intimate is a challenge for most, if not all of us. Many of us will try, but then pain, shadow, hiding, suffering, and all forms of programs come up telling us it isn’t safe, we shouldn’t do this, we won’t like, no one will like us, or even we simply can’t. We end up being guarded, hidden, blocked, or inhibited and because everyone seems to be that way we all retreat into our seemingly safe realm of isolation and false self projections.
What keeps us from being truly connected, open, from sharing, and from being who we really are, is the lack of inner connection.
A way to find intimacy with ourselves is to look at consciously ending this repetitive cycle of defensiveness first. By working on inner connection we could realize that we can replace this perceived ego safety with true inner freedom - a freedom of knowing who we are without shame, guilt, worry, fear or anger. We could experience the strength and stunning beauty in what happens if we let the chips fall where they lay; and that all the endless inner chatter, the worries and doubts become dull and fade away as we begin to fully live in the moment.
Once we know what inner connection feels like we no longer depend on outer approval or binds to the past. We can face each moment with the willingness to be fully present and aware, knowing that the greatest freedom and strength comes through being able to be truly connected and that there is nothing to defend or fight off...only to be experienced.
Sounds wonderful, but the work to get there can be challenging and even harrowing as we must face what comes up and be willing to continue to move forward regardless. Spiritual energy work can link us to greater levels of understanding and compassion and is therefore a very good tool reconnecting (with self and others).
The key to dealing with the often painful aspects of this voluntary vulnerability is in the total and heart-felt surrender to our higher vibrational Inner Connection.
(also read "Voluntary Vulnerability – The Art of Loving with an Open Heart” by Jona Bryndis)
True inner connection can heal and teach us how to become truly intimate in our relationships, too! Any unresolved or rejected inner aspect within us will reflect as connection issue mostly in form of repetitive patterns in relationship with others. The true power of our ability to be intimate with everything that surrounds us won’t show unless we apply our inner resonance to each and every situation and relationship aspect as it arises. Therefore, to resolve our intimacy issues we need to go into inner connection first!
ENERGETIC ASPECTS OF INTIMACY
We already pointed out, that Intimacy can be between friends, family, and loved ones, but it alone does not mean love exists. The kind of love we are talking about is the kind we need to consciously choose and align to from within; the kind that connects us with others regardless of whether we are in a relationship or not – Self-Love.
As we work through our limitations and ego patterns through contemplative consciousness work, such as energy work, shadow work, deep meditation, prayer, and other spiritual work, and learn to agree to let them go (surrender) and will begin to experience more inner space for love in our hearts. We can see the futility of defensiveness, judgment, and elevation of self and we begin to recognize these aspects not only in ourselves but others, which in turn allows for deeper understanding, compassion, and even forgiveness. Throughout this inner healing and empowering process, step-by-step we can allow for more intimacy and with it more love into our lives.
Energetically seen, when we connect with our heart-center our personal energy field opens up for higher vibrational energies. Our heart-center or heart-field is an inner energy vortex (located slightly lower than our heart chakra) that forms when the totality of our energetic alignment is in coherence with our inner heart-mind/divine consciousness. A precise description of this field is difficult, as it can feel differently for everyone, but it can typically be pinpointed intuitively. Our heart-field is the field that becomes the center of our energetic expansion and capacity for love.
Projecting a false connection is obviously not the same as a true heart-connection, which is based on compassion, appreciation and unconditional love! False-heart connection promotes white shadow traits and specialness and is therefore a very volatile and dangerous energetic state. If our heart-chakra is too open and therefore imbalanced, we can become easy prey for false intimacy, energetic vampirism and superficial or misunderstood affection. Some of the symptoms of enlarged heart-chakra energy through projection include emotional absorption, dippiness and externalization of love, as our heart energy is directed towards outside energies. (Learning how to read and balance Inner Energies can be learned in our CHAKRA INTENSIVES)
False heart-connection can be observed in many esoteric and new ages circles, where the perceived loviness is often projected and conditional (and sometimes even damaging.) The side effects of false connection can lead to feelings of ‘being taken advantage of’, ‘being sucked dry’ or ‘being treated like a doormat’ and thus often reinforce our initial reluctance to connect. Intimacy cannot be faked!
True heart-connection doesn’t need control, power or force to sustain itself. It just needs to BE. False heart-connection needs props, confirmation, attention, routines and reassurance, as our inner boundaries are not clear and imbalanced. The merging of our own energies that can occur when we truly connect with ourselves not only consolidates our energy field but also eliminates the false need to merge with or project onto others. In context with intimacy in our relationships, this is one of the main prerequisites for a healthy and long-lasting connection. (also read “Understanding True Love” and “Understanding True Love Relationships” by Jona Bryndis).
True intimacy can only unfold when we can feel authentic and congruent with our True Self. It's directly linked to our self-love – the space within us in which we have nothing to protect, defend or to hide, because our natural boundaries and inner guidance are fully intact.
PRACTICAL CONNECTION WORK
In our Remote Healing Circles for example, a safe energetic space is created that allows for the energy/code of intimacy to come forward and be experienced (and shared) as group. This can create moments or reference points as to what intimacy can feel like. Even if we can feel something for a brief moment only, the experience can alter our perception and change or enhance our belief-system tremendously.
The remote energy transMISSION can also allow for the blocks and the patterns that are in our way to be understood at more depth as well speed up our own vibratory rate that can allow for reframing or even deep healing of old ways. In the associated Webinar after the energy session as well as Men’s and Women’ Healing forums these experiences can be exchanged and discussed. Webinar recordings are available in our shop.
For those who choose to work on true intimacy, much can occur as mentioned various places above not only in themselves, but also in relationships. The simple question is do you truly want to align to becoming connected, or do you want to continue to insist on your rigidities, defensive positions, and judgments?
Thank you for you time!