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Adjusting to Change Without Fear – The 7 Stages of Becoming Real

By jona bryndis, Mar 27 2020 05:28PM

Our world is changing. Some say nothing will be as it was before. This triggers fear in us. But change doesn't have to be frightening or painful ! After all, change is the evolutionary process of adapting, correcting and improving. If you take a deeper look at the struggle underneath your fear of inner or outer changes you will find that it's mostly your ego reacting to the fear of not being in control.

Why is it so difficult for us to accept change as an opportunity to evolve? How can we learn to embrace change without fear?

The only thing that can get us through letting go of our ego's attachment to fear is taking an honest inventory on these illusions and to become more real.

From a higher spiritual perspective, becoming real means having nothing to fear, control, hide or to defend. All that matters is our ability to be true to ourselves and to live according to our inner integrity.

Let's examine how we can learn to let go of the need to hold on to our ego's illusion of needing to be in control of a world that is ever changing...

As we begin reflecting on the deeper aspects of our fear, we may discover that most of our struggles come from an internal resitance that is trying to keep our illusion intact that the world is 'safe' and 'controllable'. We begin to realize that the true challenge is not the events that initiate change, but overcoming our ego's fear of the unknown.

From a deeper energetic point of view, overoming our ego's fear is the process of learning how to neutralize inner Energetic Dissonances. An energetic dissonance is an imbalance or block that prevents our energy from properly flowing - or resonating. In other words, whenever we are in resistance with something, our energy gets stuck, misguided, or cut off from effectively dealing with our circumstances.

Being anxious about our future means that we are in energetic dissonance with ourselves. Either, because we disagree with possible change (for example, losing our job or ending a relationship) or because we feel not equipped to deal with change. Either way, what causes our fear is not the prospect of improving our situation but the potential loss of something that gives us the feeling that we are in control.

What if losing this job enables us to find a better job? What if our emotional low allows us to grow beyond our limitations? The true purpose of change is often not visible for us until later. The biggest issue with resisting change is the inability to see beyond our ego's fear of not being in control - most dissonances are therefore nothing but the illusion of being in control, which - as most of us have already found out - is linked to the illusion that our ego knows what's best for us.

Our ego is not interested in what's best for us - it only agrees with what's safest or most convenient for us. And so it comes that many of us get stuck in situations, marriages, jobs or projections of our lives that aren't even real or true to us. We get caught up in the idea or belief about who we are and how our life should be. We hold on to these beliefs as if they were the only thing that could keep us from drowing - not realizing that they chain us to the prision of our own illusions.

Most of our False Self Projections and Ego Illusions (and their resulting dissonances) are retracted or implanted through collective human conditioning or a karmic propensity we brought into this life. Occasionally, they can also be the result of etheric attacks, inner fragmentation or collective energy shifts, as we are experiencing right now in increased intensity; but for the most part the reason why we choose to waste our energy on holding on to our ego's dissonances instead of following our inner resonances is the lack of trust in our inner higher power.

However, to be fair, we were never really taught how to follow our heart's guidance, and so it is no coincidence that we are more accepting of illusions rather than truth.

The ability to discern between what's true and what isn't does not reside in our ego-mind as many of us believe. Discerning truth is the energetic process of feeling out what is life supporting and enhancing - and not what is most famliar. Our mind is willing to accept struggle and even abuse based on the sole misbelief that familiarity feels safe. Knowing the difference between what is true to us and what isn't however has nothing to do with familiarity. This discernment can only be made through aligning our energy to our heart, which most of us haven't even considered to be a valid tool for navigating through our life's challenges.

We are conditioned to misunderstand emotions, sensations and feelings, and programmed to believe that our heart's guidance is faulty, weak or 'too emotional'. In addition, we were fed with the idea that we are flawed and that our True Self is something bad, rather than being encouraged to express our true feelings.

The list of reasons why we all have so many diffictulties accpeting our true being and dismissing our higher power is endless. The bottomline of this deeper view into why we are so afraid of change, is because we don't know how tust in who we truly are. And so, the journey of overcoming our fear of the future is not just the journey of transcending our ego, but mainly about reconnecting whth our heart, and re-membering our power to co-create our future!

The practical process of actualizing our true power and becoming real is through simultaneously eliminating false beliefs and reinforcing our conection within. Energy work teaches us, that the less our energy is stuck in inner dissonance, the better the flow, the more powerful our life force - and ultimately our joy of living! Just like every cell in our physical body is pretty much completely rebuilt and renewed cell by cell (with a few exceptions) within 12 months, our entire energetic body constantly recodes and rebuilds itself , all the way down to our DNA – just a lot faster, if we know how to do it!

In order to accept this new reality we need to change the way we understand ourselves first. We are more than just our body, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and projections! We are energetic beings with consciousness. Therefore, the first and most important prerequisite to tackle our ego is through shifting our understanding of ourselves as a holographic composition of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and energetic aspects.

Our True Self is not bound to our ego (which is bound to our physcial existence). It is unchanging and eternal. It is the part in us that connects us to our soul and that communicates our soul's purpose via inner promptings, energetic sensations, insights, dreams, visions and intuition. It is the messenger that can connect us to consciously perceiving both our physical and eternal self simultaneously.

The fastest way of learning how to embrace change and self-correction without fear is through aligning ourselves to our True Selves. It allows us to tap into our higher consciousness and activates our inner power to self-heal. However, this can only happen through actively and honestly self-reflectioning - and disengaging from identifying with our ego's perception of ourselves.

Based on the new understanding that everything is energy, we can learn to allow everything in our 3D lives to be a mirror reflection of the state of our inner energy – our physical body, our kids, our partners, our job, our pets, our house, our finances, our car, our friendships - everything! Where ever we detect struggle or dissonances can show us what we need to work in order to become more true to ourselves:

Does your relationship, family, job, house, body reflect who you truly are?

What does it reflect?

(Self-) Love or Negligence?

Radiance or Numbness?

Avoidance or Empowerment?

Judgment or Compassion?

Expansion or Contraction?

Entropy or Syntropy?

Let's walk through the different stages of becoming true to ourselves and then look at some of the practical aspects of becoming more real...

The 7 Stages of Becoming Real:


Connecting Within - Feeling My Feelings - Observing IInner Responses

How do I feel? Where Am I? Am I connected? What am I aligned to?


Being In The Moment - Overcoming Vulnerability

Am I able to truly connect with my True Self and Others? What is in the way? Fears, Judgment, Emotional and Mental beliefs?


Working on Retreiving Lost Soul-Aspects (Trauma) - Revoking Energetic Binds & Karmic Ties

Are there energetic ties and binds to people, places or belifs? What have I lost/given away or what was taken away?


Identifying Hidden Fears - Attachments - Addictions and Coping Mechanisms

What are my hidden fears and secret ego pay-offs? What are my ego-pains, patterns, cycles and spirals?


Seeing Purpose - Accepting - Seeing Things the Way They Are

Can I accept truth? Am I living my fullest potential? What is holding me from finding my true purpose?


Realingning Ourselves To Our True Needs and True Heart's Desire

What is my true nature? What do I truly want? How am I connecting with myself and others? Who am I? What do I need?


Allowing Our Higher Power To Reveal What Needs To Be Revealed - And to Heal What Needs To Be Healed

What needs to be transcended? Where am I not congruent? Is my life in harmony?

The main objective of deeper inner self-healing work is consciously experiencing a reflection of our own energetic system, so that dissonant energies can be actively addressed. By honestly looking at our entire energy body we can learn to identify areas or aspects of lower/slower vibration. Active Self-Reflection empowers us to deal with inner aspects through developing self-understanding, compassion and self-forgiveness.

In essence, overcoming fear of the future boils down to developing the virtue and habit of honest inner reflection – of facing truth on all levels. It allows us to develop the courage and willingness to deal with any change ahead as it offers us the rewarding awareness, that we always have a choice: We can leave things the way they are (familiarity) or we can change as we go. No matter what we choose, by owning all expressions of our reality we no longer need to hold on to anything - and with it - becomes able to embrace change as chance to become real!

Transcending our ego's fear is most powerful when voluntarily chosen!

Practical Aspects

The best way to begin our deeper self-reflection process is by connecting within and allowing our intuition to pinpoint our main resistances and then go form there. Wherever we feel the most energetic, emotional or mental charge we go deeper.

In deeper self-reflection then, in which we connect with the healing energy of our heart-center, we learn to silence our mind (through regular meditation or energy work sessions for example) and learn to shift our perception from inner dissonance to resonance. We connect with our True Self and thus strengthen our inner light to illuminate truth. Viewing our inner disharmonies from the heart’s rather than the ego’s perspective allows us to realize that all our previously discovered or revisited inner dissonant aspects, Shadow for example, can be transformed and healed!

With the focus on truthful self-reflection we will notice the central position of Self-Clearing. It marks our intention to take full responsibility for your energy and teaches us to independently address aspects as they arise. This is of significance, as Self-Clearing will become one of our major tools on our inner journey.

Yes, the process of self-reflection also involves facing hidden or darker inner aspects! But we can also see this as part of educating ourselves about ourselves. We fear what we don't know. So, the more we learn about our own energy, triggers and attachments, the less frightening it will become to face it!

Reading, talking, constantly asking or philosophizing without following through and walking the talk doesn’t transcend ego, it promotes it! Acting self-indulging is a hidden form of projecting specialness and therfore an expression of our ego’s need for importance. It cements our illusion of control and keeps us imprisoned in our collective unconscious. Nothing is transcended or changed through advertising or holding on to illusions. It increases our energetic fragmentation and prevents the flow of love and light in our life.

Emerging anger, pride or resistance are very common when engaging in active self-reflection. If your ego reacted a bit while reading this and you still continued, you just experienced what transcendencing ego feels like!

So, while most of our hidden aspects are unknown or unidentifiable for us at first, remember that your ego will always react with dissonance when it's triggered. This is normal and will continue to happen. The best way to handle ego is by observing your inner dissonances from the standpoint of how limiting they are, and how refelcting on them can help you to becme more real, rather than seeing it as something to avoid or resist!

Becoming Real is the result of living according to our own virtue and sovereignty - free of our ego's fears and limitations.

Thank you for your time.

Much Love,

jona bryndis

Energy Coach and founder of transCODES

Recommended transCODES energy sessions are:

Energetic Adjustment Sessions: Learn how to deal with the intensity of energetic perceptions and how to shift your transformational experiences during times of increased energetic influx

Personal Energy Training Intensives: Learn to Read, Manage, Navigate and Protect Inner & Outer Energies

Shadow-Work: Learn how to Integrate Shadow-Aspects

GRACE Integrity® Work: Deep inner Emotional Integration and Reconciliation Work

or join our self-healing community

Sacred Self-Healing Journey

Heart Warror Boot-Camp

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