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(Co) Dependent Or Not - How Do I Know?

By jona bryndis, Jun 23 2017 08:30AM

For many of us, at one point or another, reflection on our lives might bring us to question if there is need for change around alcohol or substance use, certain activities or behaviors, or the extent to which we might depend on others to meet our needs. The answer to this is not always straightforward and might well require review of our priorities, objective observation, open discussion with someone we trust, and honest communication with ourselves, to name a few.

The following brief list is of behaviors or tendencies that may indicate current or potential issues with substance or alcohol dependencies or hidden addiction, including living with someone who shows addictive patterns. (Click here to read more about hidden addcitions)

If needed, this is a good place at which we might start with some honest reflection.

* Rearranging priorities as substance gains importance. Time spent with work, family or hobbies for example, may progressively lessen and other resources may also be redirected.

* Personal rules around substance use may be relaxed or eliminated e.g., use may expand into times and situations that were once unacceptable.

* Increasing focus or projection to future and next opportunity for use.

* Avoidance of substance free social situations.

* More frequent periods of low energetic states, boredom or emotional outbursts.

* More frequent disruption or lack of sleep, deteriorating health.

* More frequent incidents of friction with partner or loved ones.

* Guilt or shame as result of not living up to personal standards or failure to fulfill commitments.

* Reduction of joy, peace or pleasure in life.

* Loss of control over substance use.

Following is an additional brief list of behaviors or tendencies that may indicate unhealthy dependence on others:

* Supporting or enabling other’s unhealthy behaviors or activities out of fear of loss of the other’s approval or presence.

* Sacrifice of one’s own desires or true needs to meet the unrealistic demands or needs of another.

* Dependence or placing responsibility on others for personal energetic state.

* Feeling responsible for other’s energetic state.

* Excessive worry.

* Frequent or constant presence of guilt and shame related to Self-worth and inability to keep others pleased.

* Denial or fear of own thoughts and feelings.

* Fear loss of control of surroundings.

* Lack trust in self, others, and God.

* Unwillingness to break from unhealthy relationship.

*Note that this information is not intended for final evaluation or determination of any condition and as needed, appropriate professional council should be sought.

As we are trying to asses our level of dependency it is important to be aware that there is no clear line at which it can be determined if we are dependent or addicted or not, so the decision that change is needed is often a very personal one. Many of the listed behaviors or tendencies are seen at one time or another in the lives of many people and are often temporary and brief but for many others, can be indicators of current issues or potential in future. If only potential at this time, it can be life altering to take steps now to resolve any underlying issues and interrupt possible progression. Regardless of our current status, change is possible, without doubt, but some action will be required.

Recovery is Possible!

So where could we begin? Through my own personal experience, building and maintaining a support network was one of the most important processes that were undertaken. Sometimes the guidance or ear of a friend who knows the experience, especially in the beginning, is the greatest support we can find. From there, we might do some research and learn about and how to resolve the inner patterns and programming that are fueling our addictions or dependencies.

Perhaps our greatest benefit though, is found in remembering and returning to our natural state of connection with our Inner Higher Power.

It’s through the power of this inner connection to our Source that we find the energies that assist us in transmuting or transforming all of the previously mentioned patterns and programs. It’s through this reconnection that we become able to experience once again, our pre-addictive natural state of Oneness with our inner Higher Power.

GRACE Recovery was developed in part, to support us in this reconnection process and to assist in rewriting our inner programming and patterns and anchoring the pre-addictive natural state within us once again.

Our focus in the GRACE Recovery session coming this Sunday will be transcendence of guilt and shame through our alignment to the resonance of Forgiveness. This process can greatly assist in transcending or releasing any dependencies that may be a part of our current experience and strengthen our ability to expand and maintain the connection to our Inner Higher Power.

The power of this modality lies in its combination of energetic alignment to Grace as an energetic resonance and the 12-Step protocol. It initiates the recoding of (often karmic) addictive structure, including co-addiction and codependency and activates spontaneous heart-alignment.

In addition, the field of this transMISSION, in a group or individual setting, initiates the following;

- Physical attunement to an addiction free body, mind and spirit

- Strengthening of transformation energies within

- Recoding of addictive behavior programs and energetic, mental and emotional patterns including


- Consolidation of personal energy field

- Clearing of energetic ties to substances, places, situations, persons and activities associated with the

addiction and addictive structure

- Release of stored emotional/mental/energetic cell memories

- Harmonizing of Masculine and Feminine Energies within

- Alignment to inner Divine Consciousness (True Self/Source/God/Christ-Light)

- Lost-Soul-Part Reunification

- Increased 3rd Eye perception and acceptance of all inner aspects

GRACE Recovery was inspired through experience in a 12-Step program and developed to provide support for not only those who may be in a recovery process, but anyone who may be drawn to remove the blockages that stand in the way of our healing process. Our belief is that Recovery is a return to our original state of energy through remembrance and re-connection to our Inner Divine Source. Past participants have shared some quite amazing experiences and powerful realizations with this transMISSION.

Our next session is scheduled for this coming Friday, August 11, at 6:00PM (MDT). Please click here for sign-up information.

We hope that you will join us!


Roger Schwartz

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