Understanding True Love Relationships
By jona bryndis, Aug 17 2016 07:14PM
Relationships can be based on True Love or Ego; on higher or lower consciousness; on freedom or karma; on intimacy or desire or on purpose or pragmatism...there is no judgment in either of these premises – it’s simply what we choose and realistically they often have a little bit of everything. However, if we are thinking, dreaming or hoping to find our True Love, ‘Soul Mate’ or Twin Soul, or if we believe that we found our ‘perfect’ relationship, we may be in for an ego surprise ….
Perfect relationships don’t really exist. Sorry to say this directly, but to think in this way shows our ego’s need for specialness and security. What we want to see as ‘perfect’ often has very little to do with True Love! Our desire for finality or ‘foreverness’ is nothing but a collective unconscious feed towards our ego’s illusionary sense of security. Therefore, in order to open ourselves up for a happy and lasting relationship, the first programming we need to transcend is ‘Forever’.
We begin with the understanding that our preprogrammed idea of a perfect relationship as ‘made in heaven’, ‘eternal’ ‘forever lasting’ and ‘the one and only’ is nothing but a incessantly promoted idealization prepping us for a multi-Billion-Dollar Wedding industry. The truth behind romanticized songs and movies is to play on our unresolved Inner Child cravings and attachments issues. To see this, you need to realize how the hammering collective programming triggers an illusion of emptiness and disconnect in you if you are not in a perfect relationship, only to exacerbate your inner conflict between wanting True Love and fears of intimacy.
How many people do you know that settled for a relationship, just to have one? Have you ever projected your relationship as special or perfect, while knowing that deep down that it already has an expatriation date?
Overcoming the Desire for a Perfect Relationship
Energetically seen ‘forever’ is an ego trap showing our ego’s desperate attempt for overcoming its fear of death and our affinity to believe in the illusion of immortality. From an energetic standpoint projecting specialness or foreverness to our relationship can be a dangerous game. It can bind people’s soul aspects, block their energy fields and cause havoc in people’s life without them knowing why. Clearing those energetic binds and ties, such as eternity vows, etc. often take an awful lot of work (see Karmic Relationship Clearings).
Unfortunately, the idealization of perfectionism sells extremely well. Huge parts of our economy depend on our narcissistic desire for the perfect relationship. Newest movements towards spiritualism and esoterism only increased this dangerous tendency through misleading information and further externalization of inner connectedness through ideas of the sudden arrival of a savior or Twin Soul in our lives.
Almost daily I receive questions about soul mates and twin souls; find new online programs, such as ‘How to find your Soul-Mate in 3 weeks’, ‘How to Identify your Twin Flame’, etc. which frankly just create more confusion in people. Please don’t get me wrong, if you browsed a little through the transCODES site you know that we offer TwinSoul Reunification energy sessions and that I wrote many articles and reports about this subject; but you also know that the view I offer is a bit more critical...
One of the issues I see arising especially for those of us who are working on our deeper energetic perception, is that the specialness promoted in this way can really confuse people. As we begin to feel energy exchange between others and us more consciously we are not yet aware of our inner energy flow and our hidden aspects, such as sexual shadow, ego-attachments, karmic aspects or inner child mechanisms, which can easily mistake our energetic experiences with others confusing. Our ego mind interprets our inner energetic response as something mystical and off we go into fantasyland and make the encounter with this new experience a ‘sign’ that this may be the perfect relationship partner.
In reality, the experience simply reflects on the exchange of energetic information between two people and if there is a resonance on a certain level, it will feel different from our normal interpersonal experience. However, this resonance may simply be that both sexual shadows or karmic issues are compatible. In other words, resonance doesn’t always mean that there is ‘something special’ – on the contrary, the more aware and connected with our True Self we become the easier we can identify our inner ‘sxxt-magnets’ and our according resonances with others.
There is no such thing as the ‘perfect relationship partner’. This doesn’t mean that there can’t be any relationships based on true love; it simply means that a partner of relationship is not an externalized object that will happen to us one day! The search for ‘Mr./Mrs. Right’ is a major distraction from learning to love ourselves unconditionally (see article ‘Understanding True Love’). If we have difficulties engaging or committing to a lasting relationship then this is typically the underlying aspect that needs to be addressed first.
Our relationships are the reflections of our inner feelings and alignments along our life’s journey - and definitely not the end of our journey. The quality of our relationships reflect our state of consciousness and level of transcendence, no matter how much we want them to be special. If we learn to transcend our ego’s desire for importance and eternal life, we will soon find out that every relationship is ‘perfect’ – perfect for the state that we are in, so that we can grow out of our limitations and heal our unresolved and hidden inner aspects.
When a relationship begin to crumble, it can mean that both partners developed into different directions; or that our current relationship is not congruent with our inner development anymore – but often it simply means that we need to work on our ourselves to enhance or correct our relationship. If both partners can see this and are willing to do this work needed, any relationship can be brought to a new level or mutually discontinued.
What is a True Self Relationship?
A True Love relationship is based on both partners allowing this inner development of both and their relationship with another to happen. This means work! And it’s challenging because it forces us to let go of all our safety programs and ego-illusions, our imbalances and incongruences and most importantly - of our control patterns!
In a True Love relationship there is no need for the notion of inferiority or superiority, for power or force! There is no need for doing something to ‘keep’ the other, either – A True Love Relationship has no space for control or manipulation. This is the reason why we need to be clear and strong within ourselves first; why we need to love ourselves unconditionally and feel whole within ourselves. What opens us up to resonate with others on a True Love level is not our desire but our inner alignment to love ourselves.
Are You ready for a True Love Relationship?
Being ready for a True Love relationship means to be willing to let go of all our ego illusions, including the need for ‘eternal foreverness’, the idea of a perfect relationship, and being perfect ourselves. It means to heal our soul first. This is an inevitable prerequisite. Without this understanding, a relationship and life based on truth, inner love and heart-connection is not for us! We will simply not be congruent enough! We will lack maturity and strength to stand in a frequency free of patterns and programs, expectations, manipulations and control; and we will continually gravitate in and out of our heart-field, back into dissonance and pain. If a True Love relationship is what you aspire – you have some self-healing homework to do first!
Self-Healing means accepting our limitations as something we still need to work on, not as flaws that must be covered up. If we are still struggling with letting go of our mental and emotional programs, power-based behavior patterns, defensive reactivity, inner child attachment issues or ego/shadow-based perception, True Love or TwinSoul relationships won’t resonate with us.
Without dismantling our ego-control we will unconsciously continue making compromises or allowing our inner integrity to be violated by toxic relationships; we will continue to pretend everything is okay when it’s not; we will spend more energy trying to maintain the way things are than allowing truth and growth; and we will probably continue to struggle with our inner connection and balance of masculinity & femininity. There is no judgment in this statement. It is our right to choose, but we cannot feed the illusion of a perfect relationship if we are not able to be truly love ourselves!
Being on a journey of living in truth and true love comes with a price – inner congruence and integrity – once we have committed ourselves to love with an open heart, looking one way and walking another can be even more painful than living in ignorance
You are ready for a true love Relationship, when you are not afraid of facing your limitations; when you found your path to your heart and Inner Divinity; when you know how to live in the present and stay in your heart no matter what the problem is; when you can trust in your inner Higher Power to heal anything, even the greatest relationship challenges. You are ready for a True Love relationship when you remember what True Love feels inside and know what it takes to be truly connected with yourself.
This is a learning process and it never ends. A life and relationship based on truth means to never stop overcoming your fear of the unknown! Embrace new ways by experimenting! Make mistakes and make corrections until you find who we really are, so that you can to love yourself unconditionally, and become able to see this in another person.
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